Tuesday, December 17, 2013


Special Blog ( Luw Conference

LUW Conference – Notes Part 6 September 30, 2013

Posted by Jae in Writing Tips.
Tags: , , , , , ,

It’s the final post, the final notes, the final bits of advice. So what did I decide to attend?


Okay, so what image does that title evoke in your mind? Why would I choose such a class? Because, dear readers, I have a couple of elderly ladies who come to our writers group sometimes. Both of them are poets, though their poems aren’t the traditional this-rhymes-with-that sort. What I notice every time they read their work is I feel drenched in powerful imagery. I feel strong emotion. I feel like I could leap into a beautiful colorful world. And so I thought, I should read more poetry and see if that doesn’t influence my writing. Because a poet, at least the ones I read, must choose their words carefully. They are great at showing you what they want you to see vs. the telling we novelists sometimes fall prey to.
So, having all this in mind, I went to the Poetics forum, taught by a man named Jack Remick. He really fits the caricature, in my mind, of what a poetic prose writer would look like. And he really knew his stuff.
Why the long intro? Because I know some of you may be put off by this idea, by poetics in prose. You just want to write commercial fiction, and this seems something that belongs to those literary types. But I believe letting something like this influence your writing can help set you above the other commercial fiction writers. And who’s to say you won’t write something literary in the future anyway? Keep the door open on all writing friends. Besides, I think this session helped me better understand the mechanics of sentences and why they do what they do and shouldn’t we all want to know how to do that if we’re serious about writing?


In great writing there are three important things: story, structure, and style. Listen to your characters. Write the story they want to tell you, not the story you want to write. Why do some stories grab you and won’t let you go? The hook isn’t just in the story, but in the attitude and style.
What the character “can’t have” is a central point of conflict in the story. Want, need, and can’t lead to action.
We’re going to do something called Structured Timed Writing to help develop the techniques of style—Beat, Breath, Rhythm, as well as Attitude and Voice.
Rhythm: short sentences, fragments, long sentences.
Rhetorical devices: three kinds of repetition.
Attitude and Voice: strong verbs and concrete nouns give you voice and attitude and style.
REMEMBER. Adverbs not only kill prose, they hide images. Adverbs tell the reader what to feel.
The longer you write the more you need structure. Inherent in structure is rhythm. That gets us to style.

Most style issues are actually structure issues. Most writers want to start on the language too soon. A good writer will identify their character by how they speak. Story is what your characters do. Structure invites your readers to ride the mythic wave. Style is the music of prose working each sentence for emotional effect.
Practicing with a half sheet of paper. (At this point in the class we did writing practice session for the remainder. He likes to do it old school, and wrote on a half sheet of paper for a fixed amount of time. It’s interesting how having a time limit really pushes you to bring things out. Another rule: no editing while being timed. No matter what. I’ll try and give you a taste of the things we practiced, but it was hard to take notes anymore after this.)
Some definitions:
  • Anaphora – repetition of a word or phrase at the beginning of a sentence, clause.
  • Anadiplosis – repetition of a word between sentences or clauses.
  • Epistrophe – repetition of a word at the end of sentences.
  • Conduplication – repetition of a word not in close proximity.
  • Polysyndenton – repetition of a conjunction in sentences, clauses or fragments.
  • Asyndeton – no conjunctions connecting sentences, clauses or fragments.
First we’ll talk about short sentences, chaining, and long sentence release.
Short sentence means simple, declarative writing.Chaining (anadiplosis) means you use words like links of a chain. To chain on paper, you repeat the last word of the previous sentence or syntactic unit when you start the next one.
Long Sentence Release (LSR) trains you how to write with the long breath and so when you come to place where your internal editor says put a period there if you please but instead of putting a period you keep your hand moving and to keep your hand moving you use connectives like AND and SO and WHEN and THEN and AND SO and AND THEN and BUT and AND WHEN and sometimes even BUT WHEN and lots of repetition….
Why do this? The short answer is RHYTHM.
Short sentences: He drove to the mall. He bought four CDs. All of them bad. Junk. Tossed them into the trash. Wanted to buy books. Ugly. Ugly. Blasphemous. Torn.
Chaining: He drove to the mall. Mall smelled like a horse barn. Barn doors gaped open. Opening to the feed bin rat tracked. Tracked spoor to the house in back. Back door jammed with newspapers.
Long sentence: He drove to the mall in his hybrid dual mode anti-pollution Honda Hybrid and when he parked he smelled a stench that reminded him of his trip to Fresno but he didn’t crave grapes too sweet and so he slid into the driver’s seat and cranked up the engine like a kid cranking a wind-up toy and then….
Anaphora: We have their teeth; we have their bones; we have their pictures.
He drove to the Mall.
He drove to the Mall in his pink hybrid.
And he watched shop keepers gouging customers.
And he checked his watch because he was late.
Later than usual.
Later than last night.
Later than last week.
Always late.
Epistrophe: Their teeth, we have; their bones, we have, their pictures we have. We don’t have their soft tissue. To make sense of it, we must have their soft tissue. We have nothing unless we have their soft tissue.
This will introduce rhythm in your prose and rhythm is as important as story. Rhythm in rhythm—short sentence, long sentence, fragment, short sentence. Read your work aloud—if you can’t say it, your readers won’t say it because reading feeds images to the visual cortex.


  1. Use: The first time she saw him he was wearing… as your beginning sentence. Then for 3 min write in anaphoric (repetition of a word or phrase at the beginning of a sentence, clause) style.
  2. Use: On their real first date, she wanted to… as your beginning. Then for 3 min write in epistrophe (repetition of a word at the end of sentences.)
  3. Use: The first time she kissed him, she… as your beginning. Then for 3 min write in chaining (anaphoric and epistrophe, see above for example).
  4. Use: Their first fight happened because he… as your beginning. Then for 5 min write in long sentence and use polysyndenton, asyndeton, conduplication (see above).
  5. Use: The room where they first made love smelled like… as your beginning. Then for 3 min use short sentence, fragments. Throw in anaphora, epistrophe occasionally.
  6. Use: The last time she ever saw him… as your beginning. Then for 3 min write in long sentence.
Now, is this how you’ll write a story? Goodness no. You train with techniques, when performing you pull it altogether. This is exercising the poetics part of your brain. It’s teaching you rhythm. Then when you go to write your story you’ll have extra tools in your arsenal.
Want to read more about Jack Remick? He’s featured on Irene’s Book Oasis or you can always visit his site and see what he’s up to.
What do you think? Nuggets of gold or nuggets of no-thanks? Are you going to give it a try? If you do I’d love to hear about it in a blog post! This isn’t an all-inclusive of everything we learned, but hopefully it gives you a flavor. And if you have a conference coming up, perhaps you can recommend him as a workshop presenter. Let me know what you thought below.


1. Phillip McCollum - September 30, 2013
Brilliant, Jae. I love stuff like this, that really delves into the structure of sentences and paragraphs.
Jae - September 30, 2013
Yay, I’m glad it’s helpful. My buddy was really put off by it, but I thought it seemed extremely valuable.
2. Roy McCarthy - October 4, 2013
Well Jae, I’ve printed out Parts 1-6, put them in a ring binder and will go through them when my brain’s feeling receptive enough. Thanks for all your work in producing these notes.
Jae - October 7, 2013
I’m glad you’ve found them helpful. Sometimes I wonder if I’ll get to a point where I’ve heard “the same old stuff” from conferences, but so far I’ve been able to get nuggets even from “same old stuff” -like forums. :)
3. Jack Remick - October 19, 2013
Jae: I’ve been posting the url to your blog around the web including to some of the writers I work with in Seattle. Your notes and the summary are super for anyone looking for a crash course. It was an exceptional group there. I hope to see you again some day. J.
Jae - October 21, 2013
Thanks! I hope to see you around the conference circuit again too. So grateful for your class. :)
4. Jack Remick - December 9, 2013
Jae: if you want to hear a little of what I did using these techniques, tune into tomorrow, Tuesday Dec 10th at 9:00 EST. World of Ink is hosting a virtual book launch for The Book of Changes:
Tuesday December 10th.
9:00 PM EST
Jae - December 11, 2013
Sorry I just noticed this, but I’ll see if I can’t check out the podcast. And cool that you’re doing the book launch with World of Ink. :D

What are your thoughts?


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Please join Fran Lewis on December 19 th at 4 PM  EST 3PM CST when her guest will be John Land.


Jon Land is the critically acclaimed author of thirty novels, including the bestselling series featuring female Texas Ranger Caitlin Strong: Strong Enough to Die, Strong Justice, Strong at the Break, Strong Vengeance, and Strong Rain Falling. In addition, Land is the author of the nonfiction bestseller, Betrayal, which was named Best True Crime Book of 2012 by Suspense magazine and was recently announced the winner in the True Crime category for the 2013 USA International Book Awards. Land graduated from Brown University in 1979 Phi Beta Kappa and Magna cum Laude and continues his association with Brown as an alumni advisor.
Land often bases his novels and scripts on extensive travel and research as well as a 25-year career in martial arts. He is an associate member of the US Special Forces and frequently volunteers in schools to help young people learn to enjoy the process of writing.
The Tenth Circle: Blaine McCracken races to stop terrorists from unleashing an ancient weapon of unimaginable power at the president’s State of the Union speechST 3PM CST for another great book discussion.

Monday, December 9, 2013


Friday, December 6, 2013

Angela Mcpherson - Love Changes

Lady Amber’s Tours~ Book Blitz~Love Changes

Love Changes by Marsha Casper Cook
Contemporary Romance

When lies come back to haunt Elaine, can she find a way to forgive herself?
We’ve all heard the comment, “Sometimes life is too damn hard.” That’s what people say when they aren’t ready to move forward with their lives. Elaine Lewis was one of those people. She had made some bad decisions, but after spending months in therapy at the Castleberry, her future depended on her ability to forgive herself. With the help of a wonderfully patient nurse, a secure and passionate doctor, and a husband who loved her very much, she was able to find the miracle she had been looking for. Life is but a dream, with many flashing moments.

Author Bio:
Marsha Casper Cook is the author of 10 published books and 11 feature-length screenplays. Her published works include LOVE CHANGES, a contemporary romance novel, and TO LIFE, a non-fiction biography about being a teenager and surviving the Holocaust. She has also written four books for young children, SNACK ATTACK ,THE MAGICAL LEAPING LIZARD POTION and the poetry collection THE BUSY BUS. Her book NO CLUES NO SHOES  is the first of the Emelina Hewitt and her dog Stanley series. Marsha’s latest work and her first in a romance collection, VIRGINIA TEMPLETON STORIES   has just been released in paperback and she is currently working on LEO LOVES GRACIE characters taken from her screenplay Prince Charming which will be out after the first of the year.
Since early 2010, Marsha has hosted radio shows on Blog Talk Radio. She and Virginia Grenier,the other half of World Of Ink Network Blog Talk Radio, have been doing shows for almost four years. Her show “A Good Story Is A Good Story” is about writing.Marsha does discuss many subjects on her radio shows but her love of writing draws her to talk to other authors and marketing experts.
She will be adding different shows this year with her partner at World Of Ink Network, Virginia Grenier. Marsha is also is doing Radio Book Launches with Marnie McNiff and Virginia Grenier with Michigan Avenue Media.Inc. specializing in Children’s Books, Romance and Thrillers.
Join Marsha at Blog Talk Radio where she does her WORLD OF INK NETWORK radio shows.  http://www.worldofinknetwork.com. 
Author Links:
Website http://www.michiganavenuemedia.com/the-virginia-templeton-stories-.html
Radio Shows http://www.worldofinknetwork.com/meet-the-hosts.html
Blogs http://www.virginiatempleton.blogspot.com/
Social  Network
Buy Links:
It was early afternoon when Elaine arrived at Arlington Racetrack. The elevator to the clubhouse was exceptionally crowded for a weekday, but to Elaine it didn’t make much difference. She had reserved the same table for the entire summer. Money was of no concern to her. If it took an extra twenty, fifty or sometimes a crisp, hundred-dollar bill to help matters along, so be it.
Having money did help with life’s daily struggles. But long range, money could do nothing to change her sadness. Unhappiness was a permanent way of life for Elaine.
Elaine hadn’t been seated for more than a minute or so when a waiter approached her table. He placed a large pitcher of lemon water and a basket of rolls on the stark, white tablecloth.
Elaine smiled, appreciative of the young waiter’s acute sense of recall. They didn’t speak much, but he smiled when she did.
As always, Elaine had not placed a bet on the first or second race. That was her time for gatherings thoughts and pulling the loose ends of the day together.
Some days she placed bets on only a few races. Those were the days when her mind wandered, remembering what she was trying so hard to forget. It was on those days that she usually picked the winners. But of course, she didn’t care. That really wasn’t why she came.
The ten-minute bell rang. It was the third race. Elaine reached inside her bag and pulled out several hundred-dollar bills. She crumpled them as she walked toward the betting counter. With a brief glance, she pointed to a number and handed the money to the woman at the window.
The race ended. Elaine had won. She paid little attention to the fact that she had bet on a winner.
A bolt of lightning flashed. Seconds later, a voice over the loudspeaker called out, “Due to severe weather, we are canceling the remainder of today’s races.”
Disappointed voices filled the clubhouse. Just as everyone seemed to be leaving, Elaine felt a tap on her shoulder. She looked up, not recognizing the young man who stood before her.
“Hello,” he said in a very mellow voice.
“Do I know you?” Elaine asked in a swift, uninterested voice.
The young man’s smile was attentive. “Yes, as a matter of fact you do. We met at an art showing. You were with Sally Braverman. Now do you remember?”
“No, I’m sorry I don’t.”
“That’s okay. It was only my art showing and my art gallery. I guess it was foolish of me to think you might remember.”
A brief but apologetic smile appeared on Elaine’s face. “Oh yes, now I remember.”
“Thank goodness,” he laughed. “I thought I was losing my touch. Although, you might be good for my ego. You know, the ego I just lost.”
They shared a smile.
Holding out his hand, the young man introduced himself. “I’d better not embarrass myself any more by thinking you know my name, so I’ll make it easy on myself. Josh Derman.”
Elaine was just about to say her name when Josh interrupted. “Elaine Lewis. Am I right?”
Elaine nodded, surprised by his memory.
Josh was just about ready to sit down when Elaine stood up. “You’ll have to excuse me, but I should be leaving.”
“Then I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said.
“I don’t think so,” Elaine responded quickly.
“You’re here every day, so why not tomorrow?”
Elaine felt uneasy. “How do you know that?”
“Because I’ve seen you here every day for the last few weeks,” Josh smiled.
Elaine didn’t know what to say, so she didn’t respond. Instead, she pleasantly smiled and walked away.
Josh didn’t try to stop her as she walked toward the elevator. He just watched her leave, wishing they had been leaving together.
As Elaine drove home, she wondered why such an attractive man, obviously several years her junior, would be interested in her. She should have been flattered, but she was just curious.

What does Fran Have to say about the THE BOOK OF CHANGES

Sunday, December 8, 2013


Sunday, December 8, 2013

Michigan Avenue Media/ World Of Ink/ Book Launch - Jack Remick 12/10 by WorldOfInkNetwork | Writing Podcasts

Please join Marsha, Marni and Virginia in a launch party for Jack Remick on Tuesdsay December 10 at 6PM PST 7PM MT 8PM CST 9PM EST.


E-Book Giveaways

call in to speak with Jack! 
(714) 242-5259
Twitter chat - #WOIjack - 

 Sign in to your twitter account to follow the action!

Jack has a new book out with Coffeetown Press and we are going to have one hell of a time celebrating!
Beast”, the lead character in The Book of Changes, comes to Berkeley, the Cathedral of Learning, in 1971, a time of political chaos, hallucinogenic drugs, group sex, and electric, acid, psychedelic, mind-bending rock and roll. On his quest for meaning he hangs out with a Harley-riding dwarf, a raven-haired Gothic artists’ model, a sorority girl turned nymphomaniac, and the heir to a family of French aristocrats with a bloody history dating back to before Joan of Arc.

Beast soon discovers that he can’t live in the past but has to embrace the present.In the Cathedral, students still go to class, fall in love, get laid, study in libraries, win awards, even graduate, but the world is burning and Berkeley supplies the fuel.

This is a celebration to the man that Rocks The World! So here's to you Jack Remick!

GREAT - writing blog
This is a celebration for the man that Rocks The World! So here's to you Jack Remick!

Jack has a new book out with Coffeetown Press and we are going to have one hell of a time celebrating!

for more info 


 Link to the show!
Michigan Avenue Media/ World Of Ink/ Book Launch - Jack Remick 12/10 by WorldOfInkNetwork | Writing Podcasts

Thursday, December 5, 2013

Kelly Abell's New Book - Saving Shenanigans

                                    Kelly's  New Book


Hot tempered, Mabe O'Banyon will do whatever it takes to keep the family's Irish pub, Shenanigans, out of the mob's dirty hands. She quickly learns, though, their attorney and the bank will offer no help. So, she calls in the reinforcements--Mara and Meg. She hasn't seen her two sisters for years, but her desperate message brings them running.

Commercial real estate developer, Aaron Shaw has a secret. He arrives in Monticello, FL, expecting to purchase a quaint Irish pub and move on to his next conquest. But the transaction doesn't take place as planned--in fact, it doesn't take place at all. The hardheaded owner--a stunning redhead with curves that don't quit--isn't selling. 

With time running out and the mob on their heels, Aaron wants nothing more than to save the woman he's fallen for from impending danger. Mabe is torn between a man she loves but can't trust and the need to hold on to her family's pub. Their choices lead them down a path neither could have guessed.

Kelly's Bio
I can't remember a time when I didn't want to write.  From the time I was learned enough to string sentences together I liked writing stories.  In high school I was the literary editor of our school magazine Sketches and had a series of short stories that I'd written even then.  I'm published with two wonderful publishers, World Castle and Solstice Publishing, and on my own as an Indie.  

I live in Florida with my two adult children and my husband of 30+ years.  I have a wonderful dog named Snickers that can even open her own Christmas presents! (don't believe me?  Look below) When I'm not working full time in the insurance industry, I write.  I believe any writer should write because they love the craft. The rest will come in time.  I hope you enjoy reading my stories as much as I've enjoyed writing them

Where you can find Kelly     

Kelly's Social Media Links


Social Media Links 


Buy Links


When Mabe meets Aaron Shaw for the first time  
The door to the pub swung open for a tall, ebony haired man wearing an expensive tan suit. Mabe straightened. Riveted, she stared at his strikingly angular face. His chin, grooved by a slight dimple, struck her as sexy.
His gaze roamed the bar, settling on her. Warmth radiated through her entire body. Never had she felt such an intense attraction to a man. Who the hell is he? She didn’t recall ever seeing him in the pub. Her nerves tingled. Resembling a panther, he wove his way through the crowd. Slightly ashamed of her attraction to a strange man at her father’s wake, she turned her back, resuming her position behind the bar. She spoke to several patrons, mentally noting their drink orders on her way.
“No one could pull a pint like your da,” an old grizzled man at the end of the mahogany counter stated. “Smooth like silk he was.”
Mabe smiled. “He was, Angus. We’ll miss him.” She handed a frothy mug to the man. “Here you go. Enjoy that.”
“I will,” Angus declared, raising his glass to her. “To many years.”
She picked up a glass of Coke, clinked it against Angus’s mug. “And to you.”
“I’ll have one of those if you don’t mind,” a deep voice spoke from behind her.
Turning, ready with a flirty response on her tongue, she came face to face with her handsome stranger. His eyes matched the deep rich mahogany of the bar. His smile, while slightly crooked, seemed genuine and swept the words right out of her brain.
“Uh…sure. Name your poison.”
Mabe nodded, pulled the beer, scraping the foam from the top. “I’ve never seen you here before. What’s your name, and how did you know my dad?”
His gaze caught hers, sympathy reflected in his eyes. She tried to look away, but she couldn’t. The man was a god.
“I’m sorry for your loss.”
“Thanks. He will be missed for sure.”
“I just realized…this is his wake, isn’t it? A private party?”
She nodded. “It is.”
The man smiled gently. “I’m sorry. I’m afraid I’m intruding. I should go.”
 She set the beer in front of him. “Nah, we’re all friends here. It is a private party, but stay if you’d like.” She gestured. “Those are my sisters Meg and Mara. We own the place now.”
“It’ll be hard to run it without your father, won’t it?”
Mabe sighed, leaning on her elbows. “It won’t be the same, for sure, but we’ll do okay. It’ll take some work….” She glanced lovingly around the pub with all its Irish paraphernalia adorning he walls. “Da, loved this place. I grew up here. It’s our place. We’ll make it work.”
She shivered, feeling his intense stare. Her skin burned under the laser scan of his eyes. Her pulse jumped. If the room were empty except for the two of them, he’d be in some serious trouble. He took a sip of the Guinness, still staring at her over the mug.
She licked her lips then broke the gaze. She swiped at the glossy mahogany top with a rag. “What brings you to town?”
“Business,” was his response.
“Ooh, cryptic, are we?” She flirted.
“Suits me for now.”
A man at the end of the counter signaled for her. She held up a finger then approached her guest. She served a few more beers, all the while being extremely aware of his gaze. His allure was more powerful than any she’d ever experienced. Monticello wasn’t full of dashing men in expensive suits, but it had its fair share of good lookers. Lord knew she’d flirted with some from time to time, even dated a few, but none of them stirred in her what this man did.
No longer needed, she returned to him, eyeing his empty mug. “Another?”
He nodded, offered her a smile.
Her knees weakened. She steadied herself by grasping the smooth wood. What the hell is wrong with me? She pulled his beer, but before she handed it to him she asked, “What did you say your name was?”
He chuckled. “I didn’t.”
She set the mug down in front of him. “Oh, come on. You’re not going to waltz into my pub during my daddy’s wake and not tell me who you are. It’s not polite.”
One dark eyebrow rose. “Not polite, huh?”
“Not at all,” she declared, leaning on the bar, offering him her most dazzling smile.
“Okay then…if you insist.
“I do.”
He held out his hand. Mabe reached out, taking his warm palm in hers. The air between them practically crackled with tension. “Aaron Shaw.”
Her previously heated blood froze. In one swift moment, all the allure she’d experienced earlier evaporated. This is the shark trying to buy my pub. The nerve of this man, waltzing in here, flirting with me, when all the while he’s casing the joint for a future purchase. She grabbed his beer unceremoniously dumping it on his head. The dark brew dripped from his hair all over his tan suit.
“What the hell?” he shouted, jumping off the stool.
“Get out of my pub,” she yelled at him.